you and me.

11:00 AM monday morning.
I am sitting in a small room in the farthest corner of a big office. Work is waiting for me with the quiet confidence of a mistress waiting for her lover. I ignore her for the time being. She smiles, fully aware that I will be hers quite soon.

I look around. The empty room stares back at me. We lock eyes for a while and then i turn back to my screen. I can hear Paranoia waiting outside, biding his time. He has already send in his twin minions, silence and loneliness. Now he is waiting for the right time to attack.

I decide to do something fast to snap out of this mood. I come online to hang out on my site. I find nobody. I can see depression approaching from behind. I dare not turn back. I stand still and utter a silent prayer for someone to talk to.

and then you come.

I search inside and put on the brightest smile i get from my heart's closet. With a thumping heart, I approach you without the slightest hint of what I am going to say.

You get a little scared. An abundance of interest from a stranger is always a cause of worry. You step back a little and wonder whether you should run. You decide to give the guy a chance to talk. You never know unless you give the other a chance.

I come and stand before you. Not knowing where to start, i manage a “hi, i am anand”. I struggle for words knowing well that your time is limited and I have to make an impression fast.

Realising the state i am in, you put on an encouraging smile and say,“anand, Tell me .. What shall we talk about ?”

I feel a little relaxed. I look inside and take out my beloved topic. I say,“Well, normally, I talk about God and Philosophy on these pages ... ”

You get scared. You wonder, whether you are wasting your time here. Still, you decide to stick around a little more time. You say, “God is for the old, the dying, the desperate and the poor. Let us talk about something else, naa ?”.

I can hear Paranoia laughing somewhere in the distance. He knows me better than anyone else. I struggle to maintain my composure as I search within my bag of topics. I pick out Psycology and show it to you with a weak smile. You start to shake your head and begin to walk towards the URL exit. Now I can feel the cold breath of the fast approaching Paranoia. I frantically search and pull out a couple of old poems. You glance through them and find that they talk mostly about lonely souls and unrequited love. With a final shake of your head, you click your way through the URL exit with your key(board). Moments away from paranoa, I still have the time to notice your pet mouse clicking away in your hand as if mocking me.

I now resign myself to my fate. I turn back and walk towards Paranoia. In the distance, I hear the approaching footsteps of another visitor. I hesitate to turn around and talk, knowing fully that I will make a fool of myself ( yet again ). The alternative is to have myself for company accompanied by my ever present companions, silence, loneliness and paranoia.

I stand there, trapped between you and me.